Firstly, I must apologise for the lack of contact from me last week. Please be assured, these publications will continue…but only when there’s something interesting to say! I have been blessed these last two-weeks with having a rather mundane time, with everything going smoothly, to plan, and without hiccoughs. This is to be celebrated, of course…albeit not very amusing…
Speaking of amusing…Sam and I went for a lovely long walk this week, but after about only a mile, and as we were approaching a crossroads on a fairly busy B-road, Sam complained of a bit of discomfort. Naturally, I enquired what was wrong, and she replied with perhaps the best spoonerism since The Two Ronnies – “I’m ok,” she said, “I’ve just got a bit of a pain in my thinner eyes”. I’m not sure what was more amusing – the unintended spoonerism, or the sight of us two doubled over in laughter at a busy junction. “Bloody spice heads!” I imagined the drivers of stationary cars may have thought.
Have you ever had a text message from an organisation? I occasionally get one from my GP practice, and quite frankly they annoy me. I do appreciate their rapid use of modern communication technology, but you only find out when you try to answer, that they have been sent with a ‘no-reply’ protocol. “Why would you ask me a question when I can’t bloody reply?!” I am alleged to have blurted out loud. I’m saying nothing without my brief.
Ordinarily I’m on the look out for such text messages and manage my expectations accordingly. One got me this week, though. I’ve recently upgraded my home internet to full fibre, and have had to send my old router back to them (pre-paid, naturally). The new router is identical to the old one, so the optimist in me assumes they intend to recycle the old one…although they do hint at negative financial implications if I don’t return it on time. Perhaps that is just incentivisation (is that even a word?).
I sent back the old router weeks ago, so was a little miffed to receive a text message from them which informed me they hadn’t received it back, and that they may charge me if it is not received by them by the middle of November. Being such a sedentary, non-offensive message, I naturally flew into a fit of exasperation, and set about throwing paper around until I found the certificate of posting. Having scanned it on my phone, I calmed myself with a long reply – informing them of the dates I had sent it (thank you very much!), and that any loss of the item is entirely their responsibility. I know one cannot ‘slam’ down a cellphone call – but I certainly hit the ‘send’ icon with vim and vigour, I can tell you!
“Message failed to send”
