When given the choice, I will always opt for the comfort of my office and computer when it comes to shopping (especially groceries), but sometimes the wisdom of such a decision is seriously challenged.
Alas, I am once again bemoaning a beloved High Street Opticians. No names, but I believe Puss was a fan. The faff (re)commenced with a quick trip into town to buy some contact lenses, as I was satisfied with the new prescription I was trying out. A quick job, so I elected to only pay for the minimum one-hour parking session…ah, how we laugh.
After telling the staff member how they could in fact help (thanks for asking), I gave my personal details as requested, and my details were duly ‘brought up’.
“Ok, we just need to book you in for an appointment to check your lenses, and then you can come off the trial.”
“No, sorry – I’m not coming back for a fourth time, I just need to order some contact lenses as instructed by the Optician. He told me to pop-in once I knew what I wanted to do – either tweak the prescription, or go ahead and buy some. It’s the latter – so here I’ve popped and, I’d like to buy some, please.”
“I can’t do that because you’re on a trial…”
“Yes, but the trial is not for whether I can ‘deal with’ contact lenses, it’s just a trial of the new prescription. I had the fit checked and had bright lights bored into my eyes the last time. The fit check was fine, and it’s the same brand I’ve been wearing for many years – this was just to check the new prescription.”
“But you’re still on trial.”
“Yes, but I’m delivering the verdict! Can I please just part with some money?”
“You have to be taken off trial first.”
“Ok, can you do that please.”
“No, you need an appointment to have a check up.”
“I had that last week. Look, I tell you what, this is too difficult – can you please just give me a copy of my prescription and I’ll just buy some online.”
“I can’t do that either, I’m afraid.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know which one of the two prescriptions you need.”
“I only took one on trial.”
“Oh. There’s two on the system.”
Anyway…this persisted for longer than it should, and involved many other colleagues than it needed to, but they asked if we had any other shopping to do, and they would check with the Optician once he had finished with his current customer. And so, we spent more money than we had intended, as there was a ‘Freckle Face’ nearby. A wonderful aromatic shop…top tip, though…don’t go in there if you are returning home on public transport. I did last time I went in…unaware that they spray loads of ‘stuff’ onto the black tissue paper they stuff into the snazzy bags. I turned both heads and nasal hairs on the bus that day, I can tell you!
And back to the opticians…
To cut a long(er) story short(er), the Optician was still in with a customer when we returned, and I was about to leave empty-handed when a colleague I hadn’t yet encountered arrived. She pointed to a squiggle on the form which apparently said ‘PAN’ (I thought it said ‘Gavin’ to be honest with you – the standard of writing would give a GP a run for their money), so I was free to rid myself of some cash after all! Alas, one cannot merely pay for contact lenses and leave the shop with them. Oh, no – they get delivered to your home ‘for convenience’.
“Can I just buy these online next time, then?”
“Not just yet, no, sorry. We’ve just signed a deal with a new supplier and they’re not offering that just yet.”
“Well, it is only 2025, so not to worry…”
Yes, yes, online shopping I know…bear with…
Now, this opticians (rhymes with ‘roots’) are usually fastidious with keeping customers up-to-date with progress on shipping, and providing reminders of up-coming appointments. Having had no correspondence from them by Wednesday (and nothing from the postie), I elected to go online and order some – the supplier guaranteeing next day delivery. They duly arrived the next day – along with the pack of lenses from ‘Roots’. Typical.
What also accompanied the lenses was a form, my prescription, and a QR code and ‘Membership Number’ with which to join their ‘Rewards Programme’. Now, I am not usually tempted by such loyalty schemes, but this one did, contrary to statements made in the shop, advertise a one-stop-online-shop to order your contact lenses with ease. That’s the badger for me, I thought! Not so fast Nic-o-tine (do you remember that advert? Just me?)!
Having navigated to this online place of wonder and excitement, there was a clear message stating that anyone NOT logged in here since January 2025 would have to register for a new account. All understood, thank you. When I tried to register however (using a prefix for the optician’s name, followed by a ‘-’ and the membership number provided), I was informed that an account with that number already existed. Ok, I’ve been here before, and know that under such circumstances one should navigate to ‘Forgot My Password’ – which I did. This is where it got baaaad. The text input field has instructions which said only “Enter your ID”. Ok. This could be one of a number of potential options, but I elected to first try the ‘Membership ID’ number. If the vagary of the instructions of the previous step weren’t bad enough, the message displayed when clicking ‘Submit’ was even worse! It read “If you have provided the right information, a password reset will be sent to you. Brilliant. How do I know if I’ve provided the right information? I don’t even know whether I’ve answered the right question! I persevered, and tried all permutations of ‘ID’ I could imagine – email address, name, membership ID, membership ID with prefix…Nothing. I’ve emailed the customer address given asking for help. Nothing.
I give up. Online purchase for me next time…with a different supplier who I already know I can trust to deliver.
The other piece of online shopping this week was for my car insurance. I haven’t had a car for a couple of years, but our new one arrived on Thursday this week. Rather than go through the often protracted route of filling online forms for comparison websites (who seem to need your star sign, and inside leg measurement) I though it prudent to go back to who we used last time. Customer loyalty and all that. What-a-mistake-a-to-make-a! This company whose name matches a famous war-time UK Prime Minister, or an agreeable bulldog off the telly, quoted over £850 for a year! Off to the comparison websites I went, and got a year’s cover with a reputable company for just shy of £400. Incomprehensibly, the other (bulldog/PM) company was quoting me only £510 through a third party website – for the same cover! Go figure, ‘cos I can’t.
A final thought from me – but on the weather, if you will permit. I’m not keen on Autumn – despite the colours (which are always stunning). One cannot make correct clothing choices. We embarked on a walk this week, where we needed joggers and hoodies when we set off, and shorts, T-shirts, and flip-flops when we got back home. Until next time…
